5:25 [Lennon's Home Birth Story]

I've tried several times to sit down and type up Lennon's birth story. However, every time I've had a spare moment, I couldn't seem to find the right words. After a conversation with a friend the other day, I'm pretty sure I now have the words. So here goes nothing...

About 6 months into trying to get pregnant, I decided that I wanted to have an "out-of-hospital" birth at a birthing center, or possibly a home birth. Eric wasn't sold on the idea, but luckily over the next year and a half of our journey to get pregnant, he came around to the idea. A few days after getting a positive pregnancy test I went to see my OB/gyn, they confirmed the pregnancy with blood tests, and I few days later I called the two local midwives we have to set up consultations.

The day of my first consult I was ridiculously excited. I had dreamed of this for a year and a half. I had several friends and acquaintances that had used these midwives and loved them and I just knew I would too! That unfortunately was not the case. To make a long story short, I was told by the midwife that I met with that my BMI was too high to give birth naturally. She told me that I could "try" for a natural birth but that more than likely I would end up at least needing pitocin to help progress my labor since my body wouldn't be able to make enough due to my high BMI. She then went on to say that almost every client she's taken with a  BMI as high as mine NEEDED a c-section because their bodies just couldn't give birth. I left that consult defeated. I didn't speak for 30 mins after, and when I finally did speak, I started crying. For the past 2 years I had believed that my body was broken, and when I was finally starting to have a little confidence in it, I was told by a "professional"  that it in fact, probably was.  A week later I nervously went to the other consult that we had scheduled. I honestly thought I'd be told the same thing as before, and any hope of an out-of-hospital birth would be gone. However, that was not the case, and to make another long story short, both Eric and I LOVED this midwife. We ended the consult with a hug and I told her I'd let her know our decision soon, though I already knew what my decision was as I walked out of the birth center. When we got in the truck, Eric looked at me and asked "we just found our midwife, didn't we?". We had.

Thanks in large part to great prenatal care, I had a healthy and wonderful pregnancy.Yes, I had normal worries but for the most part I really enjoyed being pregnant. I spent a lot of time day dreaming about the birth of our baby girl. I also had the honor of attending 6 home/birth center births during my pregnancy, each of them inspiring and picturesque (or maybe it's just the photographer in me that sees them as picturesque). I imagined laboring in the birth pool with soft music playing in the background, incense burning, and candles flickering. I imagined breathing through contractions with ease on my birth ball while my doula rubbed my back and "slow dancing" with my head buried in Eric's chest during intense ones. (yes, that's a real thing people do). I pictured Eric pulling our baby out of the water and placing her on my chest, then after a few minutes I would move to the bed and nurse her with ease.Several times Becca, my midwife, asked me about any fears or concerns I had. She urged me to open up and talk about anything that was worrying me, so I didn't bring it into the birth with me. We discussed a few things, but for the most part I brushed her off, I had seen birth nearly a dozen times. I had this.

A few days before my due date, I started having a lot of anxiety. I started thinking about what I was told by the first midwife. What if she was right? What if this beautiful home birth that I've been planning for and imagining didn't happen because my body wasn't made for it? What if my body is broken? Becca assured me that my body had conceived and grown a healthy baby and that it was more than capable of giving birth. I wasn't buying it.

On the morning of October 13, I woke up  at 4am with contractions. They were fairly strong, but I was able to breathe through them and about 15 minutes apart. I tried to go back to sleep but had no luck. The contractions quickly got closer together, and by about 6am I had woke up Eric, texted Rachel (my doula), and called Becca. I stayed in bed, since I had been on bed rest due to my blood pressure being elevated. For the next few hours we kept Becca updated as Rachel reminded me to breathe through some of the more intense contractions while Eric rubbed by back and hips. Becca and her student, Rebecca, showed up about 10am or so, I think. I had lost the concept of time by this point. She checked on me and Lennon and then encouraged me to get up and move around to help labor pick up. As the hours went by I progressed slowly, my contractions were strong but bearable. I paced the house, had a snack, bounced on the birth ball & rested for a bit on the couch. My contractions seemed to fizzle out here and there but would pick back up after a little break. Some time after lunch time Becca checked me again I was about a 6 and things were still moving kind of slow so she told me that she was going to leave for a bit to give me and Eric some time alone. Everyone, including the doula, left so Eric and I could enjoy what would be the last time we'd be alone for awhile. We talked some about how labor had been going, I remember telling him that i didn't understand what all the hype was about, that it had been easy for the most part (yeah, I'll eat those words later in this story), we talked about what our baby girl might look like, and we had, um,  time together...;). After about  an hour and a half my birth team returned and started filling the birth pool. The contractions stayed fairly consistent while I waited for the pool to fill, they picked up in intensity some and I was having to focus more to make it through them (and was rewarded with chocolate from my midwife after each one...#perksofhomebirth ;) ) I was so relieved when the pool was ready, It felt amazing! I labored in there for awhile, but after a hour (seriously, I had no concept of time during this) I had to get out because my labor had slowed way down, nearly to the point of stopping. For a while we continued trying different positions, some herbs to help speed things up a bit ,but I wasn't progressing any and my contractions  had become few and far between. At this point Becca came in to discuss a few options, it was getting late, I was very tired, I was still at 6cm despite our best efforts and she didn't feel continuing with the same positions and such were going to produce results anytime soon. The two options that we discussed were either A) naturally stimulate labor to get try to get it over and done with or B) sedate labor, rest, and resume once my labor started back up naturally. We talked about the pros and cons to each, we discussed each option with our doula, among ourselves, and then called Becca back in. I asked her a few questions, but the main one was which one had the greatest risks of hospital transfer. She explained that by stimulating labor we would be at a greater chance of transferring for a few different reasons. Since both Lennon and I were doing well & there were no complications, just a long labor, I really wanted to stick it out and not risk a transfer. I asked to labor for another hour, and then if there was no progress we could attempt to sedate labor so that I could rest. The hour seemed to drag on, I was walking back and forth from our bed to the bathroom, spending maybe 10 mins in each place, having a contraction each time I would move, but nothing consistent. After the hour passed, Becca came in, checked for progress, and I was still at 6cm, the same place I had been for almost 12hrs. So after 16 or so hours of labor we called it quits for the day. Of course my labor had already slowed down on it's own some, but after some benadryl,  passion flower syrup, & wine , I was tucked in, given instructions to get some sleep, call if anything thing started happening, everyone left. I was exhausted, both physically and mentally. I was ready to meet my baby, but needed rest.

The next morning I woke up about 6am feeling pretty good and not having contractions. Becca had warned me that if we chose to try to sedate labor there was a chance that it could take several days, or even a week to start back up, which was okay with me. I started going about my day, and with in a few minutes contractions started up full force. The pain seemed to start in my back and radiate down my hips into my thighs. I tried a few different positions on the bed before I had to have some sort of relief. I got in the shower and let the hot water  run down my back and legs. This seemed to help through most of the contraction, but at the peak I felt like my hips and legs were on fire. I had woke Eric up by this point and he was timing my contractions. They were about every 2-3 minutes apart but I couldn't seem to compose myself in the time between them. I just kept hoping for a longer break and when another contraction would start to build, I would try my hardest to stop it from coming so I could have some more time to catch my breath and relax. By the way, you can't stop a contraction ;) After about 30 mins I yelled for Eric to call Becca. I  figured surely with contractions this close together, this baby is going to go be here soon. While still in the shower I heard Eric on the phone telling her "yeah, that's her you hear", so I guess that this point I was pretty loud. Between contractions I decided to get out of the shower. It didn't seem to be helping much anymore and I didn't want to use up all the hot water before filling the birth pool. I moved to the bed, and got fairly comfortable on my hands and knees. I don't remember much else until my birth team started showing up. First was Jessica (my friend and photographer), who I didn't even realize had been called. She came in and checked on me and brought me something to eat. A few bites in,I had another contraction. It was very strong, with all the pain in my back and legs but was more manageable in this position than they had been while I was in the shower. After that contraction I turned to see Becca  squatting down at the end of the bed . Without me saying a word to her, she looked me in the eye as if she knew exactly what I was thinking and said "I know". I was able to relax some after that. My birth team was there and I felt safe and loved.

The next several hours are a blur, honestly. The contractions had slowed down a little bit but were still very intense.I labored in the bed, I labored in the bathroom, I labored in the birth pool. I said "Fuck", A LOT(just being honest), and Becca and I had a much needed "get your shit together, forget what you've been told, you can and are doing this and you're about to meet you baby" talk (which sounds harsh, but I was exactly what I needed to hear).Though water in the birth pool felt nice, the pool was hard to labor in. I couldn't find a position where I felt comfortable and grounded. Rachel suggested some positions and tried to help me into somewhat of a squatting position with her rebozo, but my legs burned too much to do that for long. I cried out for Becca at one point, hoping that she could magically get the baby out of me. Which, of course, she couldn't. My contractions slowed even more, so I got out of the pool and moved to the room, and then to the bathroom. I sat down on the toilet and my birth team piled in. I had never noticed how small our bathroom was until that very moment. It was crowded, I was sweating, and felt a little nauseated. I'm not sure if I said I wanted everyone out, but I did, and luckily Becca cleared everyone except herself and Eric out. She checked on me and listed to Lennon's heart rate and then left for a bit. It was just me and Eric for while. During contractions I would lean on to him, between contractions I would rest on the toilet. Becca then suggested we go to Lennon's nursery for a few contractions. I made the short walk down the hall and a contraction hit as soon as I got into her room. Another came shortly after and grabbed on to Eric as the wave hit. It was then I realized that the baby we had been waiting for and preparing for was soon going to be here. The clothes hanging in the closet and the diapers on the changing table were for a little body that I was about to give birth to, the blankets folded careful in a basket would soon swaddle a real baby. (I have a sneaking suspicion that's exactly why she had us go into the nursery)

When we made it back to the bathroom, Becca told me to reach down to see if I could feel my baby. I had done this a few times before with no luck. I told her I wouldn't be able to but she encouraged me to try anyway. I reached down not expecting to feel anything, but I did. I could feel a hard little head, I could feel a little bit of hair, I could feel my baby. She was real and right there, with not much further to go before she out and and in my arms. As the next contraction came I left my hand on the top of her tiny head and pushed. I could feel her move down with each push, getting closer to being born. Becca then asked me if I wanted to go back to the birth pool or bed. I didn't. I had figured out how to effectively push to get my baby out, and I did not want to move. A few minutes later she asked me again, I still didn't. I was focused and wanted my baby out , I didn't care that she was going to be born in our pink bathroom with the horrible wallpaper that I SWORE that I would not give birth in, I just wanted her out! With my hand still on the top of her head, I continued to push her down. As her head began to come out I stood up (after, for some reason, asking Becca's permission and her responding "yes, please do") After another push or two her head was born. Less than a minute later and with a few more pushes I heard the words that I had been longing to hear  for nearly 3 years, words that I dreamed about hearing  when I would imagine our baby's birth. Her birth my not have been filled with incense smoke, slow dances, and picture perfect moments. But the one moment that really mattered, the moment she entered the world, was perfect.

At 5:25 I heard Becca say "Eric, reach down and catch your baby"and her body slipped out of mine into my husband's hands. At 5:25 my husband handed me my perfect 7lb 8oz baby. At 5:25 the sunlight shone through the window perfectly on to her face and the first words out of my mouth were "Oh my god, she has red hair".

Shortly after Eric placed her in my arms and I admired her beautiful face and red hair, I realized that she was not crying and her lips her blue. The minutes that followed were intense as she struggled to take her first breath. I tried to stay calm, I knew she was in good hands, she had a heartbeat, and her cord was still pulsing so she was still getting oxygen. What seemed like an hour was really about 5 minutes. In that time I watched as our midwife suctioned her and tried a few different things to get her to breath, finally mouth to mouth did the trick. Becca handed her back to me, she was still pretty limp as a carried her to our room. For the next hour or so I kept her skin to skin as she was watched very closely, and little by little her breathing, color, and tone improved. Once it was clear that she was stable, I got up and showered while Eric briefly brought her out into the living room to introduce her to our families. Over the next few hours family members came in to see Lennon, the midwives examined, measured, and weighed her, and I ate. We were given postpartum and newborn care instructions, as well as instructions to call with any concerns, & the midwives helped us settle in for the night. We tried several times to get her to nurse with no luck, finally around 10:30 pm, about 5 hours after birth, she nursed for the first time. By 11:30 everyone was gone, it was over, she was here, and we were a family of 3.

 On October 14, 2013 at 5:25 pm, my baby was born. At 5:25 we became parents, something both of us had been told may never happen. At 5:25, my body birthed my baby that it had conceived naturally, and grown without issue. At 5:25, I discovered that my body is not broken or defective. Lennon's birth was not the birth I imagined, but I was the birth I needed. It was an intense labor and a triumphant birth. It showed me that I am strong and capable of just about anything. It taught me to trust my body & it healed the wounds left by infertility. When asked if I would do it again, my answer is simply "All of it, in a heartbeat.". I'd relive every day of our infertility journey, every failed cycle and every tear shed. I'd redo the entire 40 weeks and 5 days of pregnancy and all 37 hours of labor. I'd redo all of it for that one minute when my baby girl entered the world and I became her mom, because the way I felt and what I accomplished in that that one single minute has influenced every single minute since.

Months 3 & 4.

Oh my! How our little girl has changed in the past 2 months!! She's grown so much, discovered new things and gained new abilities! I'm constantly in awe of this tiny human! I just love watching her discover the world around her!! As usual i'm running a bit behind on these (as well as many other things).By the time I got around to doing her 3 month update, she was nearly 4 months... and then well, I fell behind again. But better late than never, which is apparently my new motto.

Month 3:

Baby girl finally outgrew her newborn clothes and started filling out her 0-3 month clothes! She weighed in at about 11.5 lbs and was 24 inches long! She found her thumb and kicked the pacifier to the curb!! I didn't want her to be a thumb sucker, since it's easier to take away a pacifier ..but it makes her  happy, so I'm not fighting it. She found her voice and loves to 'talk', coo, and screech! I just love to hear her sweet little voice!! I'm not sure what she's saying, but she seems very passionate about it (I can't imagine where she gets that)!

Month 4:

Lennon turned 4 months on Valentine's day and we spent the day in Lake Charles. We got to have lunch and catch up with Becca and then killed some time shopping until it was time for her check up. As always her check up went great. She weighed 12lb 7.5 oz and was 25 inches long. Skinny mini is just below the 25th percentile in weight but in the 75th for height! Dr. Ardoin assured me that even though she is gaining slowly, she is thriving and healthy! As always, he was perfectly okay with the fact that we were skipping her 4 month shots even though the nurse seemed a little peeved by it. This month she also became quite the little flirt, talking and giggling at everyone that talks sweet to her.She also mastered rolling from tummy to back and has back to tummy down pretty good too!

We are 4 months into breastfeeding and I don't see us stopping anytime soon! I still have to correct her latch every now and then but other than that it's going great! I truly love nursing her, she is just the sweetest little girl. She rubs my hand or chest as she nurses and it melts my heart, every.single.time! I am constantly grateful for the tons of support that we had that I believe truly set us up for a successful breastfeeding experience. T Also, 4 months into cloth diapering and we are still sposie free and I don't foresee us giving it up anytime soon either!! I had a little issue with Lennon getting a rash from diapers not getting clean enough, but I changed detergent, at the suggestion of a friend, and after rewashing the diapers the problem was solved!

Okay, i'm going to be done before I start rambling.

2 months of Sunshine!!

DISCLAIMER: I've never been a great proof-reader, and did not have time to proofread this post well... so just please excuse spelling and grammar issues, as well as sentence structure, etc etc etc!   :P

So this is a little late, but you should expect that by now! December 14th was 2 months since our Lennon love was born, and what a crazy, but great 2 months it has been!

 We got her tongue tie freed, so she has discovered her tongue and loves sticking it out! The procedure was quick, seemed relatively painless (she barely fussed), and she nursed better immediately! Before the procedure I wasn't sure how I felt about BFing, I liked it because I knew it was what was best for her, but I definitely did not love it! However, within a few days she had learned to latch correctly and it has pretty much been smooth sailing since. I now have a love/ hate relationship with BFing, some days... it's not fun, but most days I love nursing time, especially the snuggles afterwards, Lennon is such a snuggle bunny!! She is holding her head up and looking around at everything, she is just so curious! She loves staring at the TV if i'll let her, the computer screen, the colorful curtains in our room, and she likes looking out the window! She smiles so much now , she especially likes it when I make a "gasp!" noise, it makes her smile every time! And best of all she found her voice and loves to babble and coo, every morning after she eats, she gets super happy & we have our "talking time". It's great to see her smiling and happy, after weeks of a fussy baby!
She is growing slowly, but she's definitely growing! This past month she has finally starting growing into some of her 0-3mon clothes and she's nearly out of her newborn diapers!

We spent Thanksgiving at home, my parents, siblings, and grandpa came over, Lennon slept through most of it! That night she also had her very first trip ever to a hospital, but it was only to visit her future BFF Jacelyn when she was born! Oh! & we discovered that she loves music, especially 'One Love' by Bob Marley, if she's fussy and I put it playing, it usually does the trick. Eric is trying to get her to like country, but she's pretty much my clone so I don' think that's going to happen!

Despite being kind of clingy, our sweet sunshine is actually a good baby most days and she's sleeping really well. Most nights we go to bed about 2 am (we are both night owls) she sleeps until about 730, wakes up to eat, and then we both go back to sleep until 11 am or noon!  My milk imbalance has pretty much evened out so she's not quite as gassy, but she started showing some signs of silent reflux, which causes her to be gassy & fussy after eating. She did great at her 2 month check up. She seems so love Dr. Ardoin , which I do too! He said she was healthy, strong, and beautiful! He took my concerns about the signs of reflux that she has serious and agreed after listening to me and checking her out that she seems to have some silent reflux, but luckily is not rushing to put her on medications or rice cereal. He said the best thing is to keep her exclusively breastfeeding but to try to feed her in smaller amounts more frequently &  keep her sitting up a bit after eating, he said that she should out grow it.If she does not outgrow it or it starts causing issues with her growing and thriving then we will discuss other options! It's so great to have a doctor that is so supportive of breastfeeding and respectful of our other parenting decisions. Pediatricians like that are hard to find now days! He is totally worth the hour drive!

On my end of things, i'm doing much better now that we've gotten our breastfeeding issues taken care of and i'm actually getting some sleep!! I had my last appointment with my midwives as well this month and it was such a bittersweet visit. I had such awesome care through out my pregnancy, during my birth, and postpartum with them, I was sad that that chapter of our journey was officially done. However as amazing as that chapter was, I know this one will be even better because I am totally in love with this baby lately! Don't get me wrong, I've loved her from day 1, but those first 4-6 weeks are HARD. I wasn't eating, or sleeping well, and of course my hormones were all jacked up, which all made it hard to completely enjoy our new baby. But since finding our groove and figuring things out a bit more, I've just become completely consumed with love for this baby girl!!

Highlights from this month:

Rocking her turkey bow from her Tauntie!

 Lennon hanging out with her Partner-in-Crime, Jacelyn! It's crazy what a difference 6 weeks makes at this age, Lennon is so big compared to Jacelyn!

Naptime! <3

1st visit to Santa

Passed out after watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"

2 month check up w/ Dr. Ardoin

And her official 2 month pic went much better than last month, we actually got smiles!

Oh, this baby has stolen my heart y'all, but that about it for this month! I PROMISE i'm working on her birth story , maybe i'll be done by the time she's 3 months!!?

Month 1.

So I know this update is a little late, that seems to be my M.O. lately. So the first month of my Lennon Love's life seems to have flown by, I may have cried a little on her 1 month "birthday". Seriously, wasn't she just crowning like 5 mins ago.  Things were a little rough the first month, of course the we dealt with the typical newborn-ness & postpartum hormones (which no one warns you about) Thank goodness for placenta encapsulation! Seriously, I know it sounds gross and weird.. but it is UM.AZING! But we also dealt with excessive gassyness cause by a crazy oversupply, a tongue tie, the not so great latch caused by the tongue tie,sore boobs caused by the not so great latch and from being engorged, me leaking all over everything I own, & smelling of rancid breast milk. Oh, and the icing on the cake, Eric had to go work out of town, so I was complete alone, emotional, and hormonal. Now with all that said, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Because the bits of sunshine that come out from behind the postpartum clouds totally outweigh the exhaustion, frustration, etc.

I cannot believe how much Lennon has changed in just one month. She holds her own head up really well, she's become so alert and curious about things and she even smiled a real smile at me for the first time! She loves staring at the TV, computer screen, or where the window and wall meet. She has also taken a liking to her swing and bouncer, and has a particular fondness for a V-Tech lullaby bear that Eric's mom bought for her, it drives me up the wall, but she seems to like it, especially on car rides. Breastfeeding is going well on her end , like I said , her tongue tie makes her latch not-so-great but it definitely doesn't stop her from getting that milk!! She is also starting to outgrow her newborn prefold diapers and covers,which makes me incredibly sad. It's also a little inconvenient since she's still too small for the one-size diapers and we only have a dozen 'small' prefolds. But I'm sure we will make it work somehow.

I think that's about it, exciting stuff.. I know! ;)

Until next month (or when I get a chance to type up her birth story)....

Lennon's first 2 weeks earthside :)

So I promise I will get Lennon's birth story typed up soon , but since it's kind of a long story I'll have to wait until my sweet sunshine is in a milk coma so I can have enough time to type it up. :)

These past 2 weeks have flown by, and definitely had a bit of a rocky start. However, I think all of us are starting to get the hang of things. Monday night, after her birth, we didn't get much sleep despite being absolutely exhausted. Our midwives had told us to expect a 4-5 hour sleep from her this first night, and to enjoy it because it's the longest stretch of sleep she'll have for while. Well, that did not happen, she would not sleep unless being held. Luckily, Eric is amazing and took her for awhile between feedings so that I could get some sleep. It was like this for the first few days, but Becca let us know that it was normal, especially for babies that had long labors and difficult births to be "high maintenance" for awhile after birth. Then Tuesday evening, I noticed she had a twitch that to me did not look normal. her arm and eyes would twitch in rhythm , I dismissed it figuring I was just being paranoid, but later that night I noticed it again and started getting concerned. Rebecca was coming for a check up that morning, so I tried to relax. and not freak out until we talked to her about it. Well when we asked her about it, she had never seen it before, so we videoed it and emailed it to Becca, who then Skyped into the check-up. She went over a few things it could be the two most likely of which were "nothing/ normal newborn twitchyness" or low blood sugar. (or drug withdrawal,but that was ruled out quickly, lol) but , at the time we weren't noticing any other issues so we all dismissed it as 'nothing'. However, as the day progressed I realized that Lennon was not waking up to eat and despite my best efforts to wake her, she would only wake up for a few mins and barely eat. Knowing that something was wrong, I called Becca who suggested we see a pediatrician ASAP, just to get things checked out. She also told me to keep Lennon skin to skin all night to keep her stable and to wake her every two hours to eat. Which was a good plan in theory, but she would not wake up enough to eat!! Later that night our doula, Rachel, came by to see if she could help. She showed me how to hand express milk,to try to get Lennon interested in nursing, but no luck. We worked with her for a few hours with no luck and began to notice that the twitch was getting much worse. At this point Rachel expressed that she was a little concerned,and really thought that we needed to get SOMETHING in Lennon's stomach. After some discussion we decided to break open a sample can of formula that I was given and see if we could get her to eat something. We got her to eat a tiny bit, maybe 1/4 of an oz an that did the trick. She was still really sleepy for the rest if the night and into the next morning but she would actually eat some when I would wake her up to eat and by the afternoon she was waking up , on her own, about every 2 hours to eat.

Even though she started eating well,we still brought her to see the pediatrician  on Friday . She was down from 7lb8oz at birth to 6lb 15oz, which is in the normal range but the pedi still wanted to keep an eye on it. but everything checked out fine and she is a healthy baby! Ever since that Wednesday  nursing has been going pretty good! She doesn't have the best latch because of her tongue tie but she has figured out how to work around it, so to speak, and nurses like a champ!! We are looking into getting the tongue tie fixed soon though, mainly so we don't have to worry about it causing issues with speech down the road, but also to make nursing a little easier for her and less painful for me.

In other "crunchy mama" news, so far cloth diapers are working out for us. Right now we're only  using prefolds and covers because her legs are so skinny, nothing else fits her. Seeing how many
diapers she goes through each day, im so glad we are not just throwing that money in the trash!!
We've even made the switch to cloth wipes, the disposables irritated her and it was a pain to have to find a place to throw them away. Even Eric is liking the cloth diapers, he's getting the hang of changing them and does the diaper laundry for me everyday. He is still getting the hang of changing the diapers though. ;)

Nothing too interesting happened in week 2, This past Sunday brought her to church for the first time, i was so nervous about her crying through the service, but i kept her happy and cozy in the sling and she didn't make a peep!! We had checkups with the midwife and pediatrician. Both of us are doing great! Lennon is back up to her birth weigh, plus some. She weighed 7lb 9.5oz at her check-up, which means she put on roughly 10oz in 10 days!!Needless to say, this girl knows how to eat!! And in exciting, but unimportant news.. I'm back down to my pre-pregnancy weight!! The only other note worthy thing that happened this week would be that for 3 nights in a row she had a 4-4.5 hr stretch of sleep at night, so I got some sleep!! Other than that, we really just spent the week trying to figure things out and get into a "flow".

Week 1:

Weight at birth: 7lbs 8oz Length:21in

Weight at 4 day check up: 6lb  15.5oz

Likes:   *freaking out mommy & the midwives

            *snuggles with mommy or daddy

            *mommy milk

             *her hands by her face

Dislikes:  *being swaddled

              * having her hands covered

              *being put down

               *her feet being touched

               *cold wipes

Week 2:

Weight: 7lb 9.5oz Length: 21.5in

Likes: *eating.. all the time!!

         *snuggling on mommy's boob

          *car rides (sometimes)

           *being carried in the sling

Dislikes: *her co-sleeper

             *playing 'pass-the-baby'

             * having her clothes and diaper changed

Welp, that about covers it & my sunshine is starting to wake up.. which means it's going to be time to feed her.

Weeks 37-40.

Sorry for the lack of updating, I got so busy with birth sessions and getting ready for Lennon's arrival so blogging was the furthest thing from my mind. & Even though Lennon has arrived, I still want to document the last few weeks of my pregnancy so I don't forget a single detail of it.

The last few weeks of pregnancy went by so slowly.  When I was checked at my 37 week appointment.I was 2cm dilated and 25-30% effaced.I was hoping that meant Lennon would make her arrival soon, but week 38 came and no baby yet. Our home visit at week 38 and our 39 week check up went great. Lennon was growing right on schedule and everything with me was checking out perfectly. Then a few days before my due date, I was feeling a little "off" and panic-y so I took my blood pressure and was surprise when I got I high reading, I took it easy for the rest of the day and the next day I felt perfectly fine. However on Monday I started feeling  off again and was getting high blood pressure readings, so I called my midwife and after a few hours of my BP not coming down she wanted me to come out to see her that night, instead of waiting until my appointment the next day. I was so scared to go see her because I knew that depending on what the issue was we could have to transfer care, which has been one of my big fears through out the pregnancy. Once Eric got home from work we headed out to Lake Charles to see Becca, our doula ,Rachel, also came with us because Becca had mentioned that we  could possibly be discussing some induction methods, or transferring care and I wanted Rachel there to help us weigh the pros and cons of any decision we would have to make. Once we saw Becca, I felt a lot better, my blood pressure was elevated but  not high enough for her to have to transfer my care!  However she did put me on bed rest and started seeing me for check-ups every other day to keep an eye one things. That night she also checked me, and I was at 4cm and  swept my membranes to see if that would send me into labor (which it didn't)So for the next week I took it easy, and stayed in bed with the exception of bathing, using the bathroom, and going to see Becca. Oh and getting 2 awesome massages to help encourage labor. She watched me closely for signs of pre-eclampsia , but was certain that was not what we were dealing with since I was showing no other symptoms. No swelling, no protein in my urine, no vision changes, and my BP stayed in check as long as stayed in bed. So we continued to plan for a home birth, though I did type a  detailed hospital birth plan, just in case. Becca did try to sweep my membranes a few more times, with out success because Lennon was  too high in the pelvis, well except on time when Becca almost had it and then touched the top of Lennon's head and she shot back up!!  At my appointment on Saturday, the 12th we discussed ways of getting Lennon to engage in my pelvis, because Becca said that with me at a 4 as soon as Lennon engaged , labor should start. She suggested swimming, since it was a way of being upright and moving around with out raising my blood pressure. So after we got back in town from the check-up I went to my cousins house to go swimming. Later that night I started having some mild contractions but decided to take some benadryl and go to bed. I was sleeping well until 4am.... ad that is where this story will stop so Lennon's birth story can begin! ;)

How far along? 37-40
How big is baby? the size of a watermelon!! our guess was about 8lbs
How I'm feeling? anxious, nervous, scared about our birth plan changing
Weight Gain? At my last weigh in a few days before I had her I had gained a total of 22lbs.
Symptoms: Aches and pains from being on bed rest for my  high BP.

 Highlights from the past few weeks: Our frequent checkups with Becca really helped me to relax and be less nervous about Lennon's upcoming arrival. I swear she always knows what to say to make me feel better.

36 WEEKS

We just had our  first weekly check-up!! Lennon and I are both doing great! She has decided to stay head down, and though she does move around quite a bit she'll likely stay head down at this point! Speaking of moving she was being quite a little stinker (again) while Becca was trying to check her heart tones.. she seriously moved from one side of the uterus to the other to try to get away from the doppler! In other news Becca told me that she is likely not going to be a huge baby!! Which considering Eric's size at birth is very reassuring!! We are almost ready , just have a few things left to do!!

How far along? 36weeks
How big is baby? the size of a watermelon!! (my midwife estimated that she's a not even quite 6 lbs yet)
How I'm feeling? anxious
Weight Gain? about 18lbs total.
 How I'm changing? my face is very pregnant (puffy) these days!
Symptoms: aches and pains mostly 

 Highlights from the past few weeks: Lennon being "bad" and running away from Becca while she was trying to check heart tones! ;) that's my child!! 

34 weeks.

We're getting close, extremely close but I still have 6-8 weeks left and I feel like they are going to pass very slowly. Things are starting to come together!!

For starters the nursery is finally (almost) done!! It feels like took forever. We have a few finishing touches left like the crib set and curtains for that will be the closet doors! I'm in love with the room, in fact I might be a little jealous! lol So here's what it looked like before...white, all solid white. Boring, to say the least!                                                                                                                                         

But thanks to some hard work, mostly by Eric and my sister Tessa...it is looking much much better now. I can't wait to put the finishing touches on and post the final results. in the mean time , here's how it looks!

Also this past week we ordered our birth kit (a little late) and a friend let us use borrow her birth pool, we just have to gather a few more supplies and hope that Lennon doesn't want to make her arrival before 37 weeks and we are ready for a home birth!! :) We started out birth classes on Monday and Me and Lennon had an appointment with our midwives on Tuesday. Everything is looking good, I'm still having to keep an eye on my blood sugar but it's been good for the most part, as long as I eat every few hours. Which isn't hard to do, growing a baby makes you hungry.. but I have been having to wake up at night and eat, or else my blood sugar spikes pretty high after I eat breakfast. That's kind of a pain, but totally worth it to insure that both Lennon and I stay healthy. As always, my blood pressure was fantastic, Lennon's heart rate was a strong 160 bpm and she's head down! She also hit quite a growth spurt in the 2 weeks since my last check-up my uterus went from measuring at 31cm (at the last 2 appts) to 35 at this appt, and Becca mentioned while feeling for her position that she had grown quite a bit! I am a little anxious to see how big she is going to be, i've been expecting a big baby this whole pregnancy, and while that is a bit of a fear... i'm starting to think she is going to be average size! We'll see in a few months. 

How far along? 34 weeks (and 4 days)
How big is baby? the size us a butternut squash! :P
How I'm feeling? Pretty good, with the exception of a  few aches and pains. I did have a few days of being "over" being pregnant, but that passed, for now.
Weight Gain? I'm up to about 16lbs total.
 How I'm changing? As on friend I ran into at the store said, I look like i'm ready to pop!!
Symptoms: normal aches and pains. 

 Highlights from the past few weeks: Getting a lot of stuff checked off of my 'to-do/get' list.

and now for the bump pic.. excuse the yoga pants and funny face I was making... it was one of those rough days!! 

    

















Well that's it for now, I have another check-up in 2 weeks and then it's on to weekly check-ups!! EEKKKK!

33 weeks!

So I started this update last week and never got around to finishing it. So we're now on week 33!! YIKES! Time is FLYING Y'ALL! Well it's been a busy, & stressful few weeks. For starters, on Aug 2nd I got call from my mom at 5am letting me know my grandmother was being transported to the hospital, to make a long and emotional story short, she passed away shortly before midnight that same day. It was sudden and completely unexpected and I don't think it has really completely set in yet that she's gone. Probably one of the hardest parts of losing my Mimi, is knowing that she passed before getting to meet Lennon, whenever I shared the news with her, she nearly jumped up out of her chair with excitement! I wish she could have hung around a little longer so that Lennon could have know her, but I guess that's not what the universe had planned. With that said, I should also mention that Lennon got a SLIGHT name change. Despite the fact that Eric HATES the idea of 2 middle names, he knew it was not a battle worth fighting when I brought up giving Lennon a second middle name. So our little 'Sunshine' is going to be named Dena Lennon Ann Vidrine. Ann being my grandmother's middle name, as well as mine. I probably just asking for trouble naming her after several very stubborn,  hardheaded women (my mom & great-grandmother (Dena) and my Mimi (Ann) ) but let's face it, she comes from a long line of hard headed women, she had no chance to begin with! :)

On a happier note last week was one of our baby showers. It was a pretty non-traditional shower , just a get together with friend and family to celebrate Lennon's upcoming arrival. We got a lot of stuff and had a great time! I will say we have some pretty awesome friends and family and Lennon is one lucky little girl to be so loved (and spoiled) already! There's a few pics from the shower, you would think that with 3 photographers there that there would be more, but we have this issue with not taking pics of out own events!! lol

My husband sliding with our niece, he's really a kid at heart!!

 our yummy yummy cakes and cupcakes (seriously, I did not even care about my blood sugar that day!!)

oh and of course, us! :)

(should have taken a pic as soon as we got there before the humidity messed up my hair! , oh well)

Despite being exhausted, the morning after the shower I woke up at 5am and started organizing and washing things like a mad woman. Eric was put to work painting the nursery at 8am when he woke up and now thanks to him and my sister Tessa. the nursery is done! Well, done being painted. We are still waiting on the crib and changing table, we found a glider at a garage sale for $25 which we need to refinish to match the nursery and then put a few finishing touches on every thing! I'll post some pics when it's all done!!

We had a check-up with Becca on Thursday, nothing really new to update though. Lennon's heart rate was 150bpm and she is once again head down (yay for a non-breech baby!!)I was a little worried because when we attempted to do a 3D ultrasound, she was not head down, but I guess she decided to flip back around!

STATS TIME!! 

How far along? 33weeks
How big is baby? The size of a pineapple-ish
How I'm feeling? Bloated and  excited!
Weight Gain? I actually, surprisingly, lost a lb between check-ups. :/ So 12lbs up from the beginning of my pregnancy.
 How I'm changing? Getting “pregnant face” lol
Symptoms: some back pain, thank God for chiropractors.

 Highlights from the past few weeks: Getting an ultrasound ,  though we didn't get any good 3D images like we hoped, we still got to see our sweet girl!

and the bump last week, I wasnt presentable enough today to take a new pic!

30 weeks-3/4 baked!!

Well, I'm now 30 weeks, but other than that there is really nothing new. We had a check up today. Lennon is still head down (woohoo!!) and measuring perfectly! As far as things with me, I'm doing fairly well. My glucose test results were okay but not super duper great, so Becca is still having me keep an eye on my blood sugar just to be on the safe side.  We discussed birthing at home as opposed to the birth center, because after some thought and discussion Eric and I decided we would rather stay at home, in our own space, than birth elsewhere & our midwife is completely on board with it. I am so excited that as long as everything continues to go well, in 7-12 weeks we will be welcoming our little girl into the world at home (i'm guessing closer to 12 though). So the next few weeks should go by pretty quickly, we are starting on the nursery this week, my baby shower is next week, and we need to start preparing the house and gathering the list of things we need for a home birth.

Well that's about it so here's the "cliffs-notes" version.

How far along? 30w3d
How big is baby? about 18in & 3.2lbs, about the size of a head of lettuce
How I'm feeling? stressed, tired, and really excited
Weight Gain? gained 2lbs since my last check up (again, right on target!) which puts me at 13lbs total (no to bad)
 How I'm changing? Lennon really "popped out" this week, like for real, im huge!
Symptoms: Some heartburn and aches.Still nothing horrible!
 Highlights from the past few weeks: Discussing home birth with Becca at our checkup, and of course hearing Lennon's HB!

annnnd..the bump!

28 weeks already!?

Welp, i'm in the "home stretch" now, 28 weeks (and 4 days) aka the 3rd (and final) trimester!! Remember last post when I said things were starting to feel very very real? Add about 20 'verys' to that!! We have so much left to do and only about 12 weeks left to do it!! Aside from some clothes and the cloth diaper stash, we don't have anything ready and it's killing me that I can't do anything to prepare! I'm trying to wait until after the baby shower, which will be in a few weeks, before I start 'nesting' and buying more stuff..but I want to have her room and everything ready NOW! So in the mean time, I started working on a baby book/scrapbook for her!

Last week we had another ultrasound to check on her. We hadn't planned on another one unless something needed to be checked on as we approached her arrival, but on Monday I was walking out of my parents house and my foot rolled off the sidewalk. I was able to catch myself and didn't fall on or hit my stomach on anything, but I still called Becca (our midwife) just to let her know what happened. She told me to drink somw juice (to sugar Lennon up a bit ) and count Lennon's movements for 20 mins after I was done with the juice. Of course, my little tap dancer did not want to move when we needed her to (stubborn, just like her mama) so to double check to make sure she was doing okay, Becca ordered an ultrasound ASAP, which was the next morning. By that morning Lennon was moving a ton, but I decided to go to the ultrasound, just to be sure...and to see my baby girl! Everything was fine, as we had suspected it would be and our baby girl had gotten so big since the last time I got to see her! The tech said she was measuring at 28w1d (I was 27w3d at the time), and weighed around 2lbs 10oz.. so according to the ultrasound, she's a big girl already (like we're at all surprised) However, ultrasound measurements can be off by quite a bit, so i'm not too terribly concearned ! Speaking of 'girl', she was also more than happy to let us see that she is for sure a girl... she definitely was not shy like last time!! By far the best parts of the ultrasound was seeing her yawn a few times (seriously, it was adorable) and getting so see what looks to be the cutest and most kissable little lips ever..(I may also be a little bias here! ) The pic on the left is her full face and the pic on the right is the lower half (lips and nose) of her perfect little face that I just can't wait to see!

Also,she has become quite the wild child in utero! She's active most of the day and pretty much all night! The other day I decided to do a "kick count" during a particularly active time. 16 kicks in just 5 mins!

And she def didn't stop after 5 mins, she kicked and punched for probably the next 30 mins! I just love feeling her move, at least for now since she's not quite kicking my ribs yet!

Yesterday I had my 28 week check-up, Lennon is doing great and growing like she should. Becca felt for her position and she is already head down, so i'm hoping she stays that way and her heart rate was in her normal range at 150. She was also being pretty active during the appt (i'm sure partly due to the glucose drink that I had to drink for the glucose test) and as usual was kicking and squirming while the midwives were checking her heart rate, Becca commented that she is already very "social", which i'm hoping is a trait she'll keep after she's born. I'm sure she'll also be hardheaded and very opinionated , just like me and her Nena. Also like I mentioned, I took my glucose tolerance test at my appt yesterday. The drink was pretty nasty, much worse at the end when I had to chug it to get in down in the 5 mins allowed to drink it. I'm really nervous about getting the results back, since PCOS puts you at a much higher risk for gestational diabetes and I know that I haven't been eating as quite good as I should be. I should hopefully find out in the next day or two what the results are.

So that's about it for now. Well except to update my 'stats':

How far along? 28w4d

How big is baby? About the size of a large eggplant.

How I'm feeling? Nervous, excited, anxious.

Weight Gain? Up about 3lbs from my last appt (right on target!) which makes a total of about 11lbs so far.

 How I'm changing? Still just looking pregnant-er by the day.

Symptoms: Heartburn and just starting to get generally uncomfortable. But nothing too bad!

 Highlights from the past few weeks:  Getting to see her during the ultrasound, even though it was not planned or under the best of circumstances, and of course finding out everything was okay! Also, me check up yesterday with Becca, I always look foward to my appointments.

Oh and I almost forgot the bump pic:

now.. that's all! 

26 weeks!

Seriously, where has the time gone!!? I am nearly in my 3rd trimester, my baby shower is scheduled and just over a month away, i'm starting to plan my maternity pics for the end of Aug. or early Sept., and it hit me the other day that we are only 10 weeks away from being able safely be able to deliver at home (our midwife starts delivering at at home/ at the birthing center at 36 weeks)! YIKES! Things are getting REAL! 

Lennon is definitely getting strong, she is very very active and I feel her movements pretty much all day and all night. I swear this baby never sleeps! She seems to be most active in the morning when I first wake up, this is my favorite time of day, I've started staying in bed for 30 mins or so every morning and having some "Momee/Lennon time" .  She has started kicking me back sometimes when if I poke at her, and I can actually see some her big kicks or hiccups. Also, a few weeks ago,at about 24 weeks,  Eric finally got to feel her move once. But it wasn't until the other morning that he really got to see how active she was, we had both just woke up, so of course she was super active and he got to feel her move, kick, and squirm for about 15 mins!

We had another check up and Lennon is still growing good and her heartbeat is still holding at a strong 160bpm! Other than that, there wasn't much else note worthy about the appointment. I go back in a little over 2 weeks and that will be the start of my "every 2 weeks appointments"... again, things are starting to get REALLY REAL!

So now for some stats and pic update!..

How far along? 26w3d
How big is baby? about the size of a head of lettuce.                                                                    
How I'm feeling? Starting to get a little anxious!
Weight Gain? I was 238.5  at my check up , which is up about 2 lbs from last visit and 8-ish lbs from the beginning of my pregnancy.
 How I'm changing? Looking more and more pregnant every day!
Symptoms? Mostly just some aches and pains, but going to the chiropractor def helps!!              
 Highlights from the past few weeks:  having Eric get to feel her kick, and being able to see some of her kicks! I also love that her active times are getting regular, they are my favorite times of the day!

oh and I share this with great hesitance, because well .. no one really needs to see my big bare belly

but for ya'll's viewing pleasure, Lennon kicking the heck out of me a few mornings ago: 

Well that's it for now!
Peace & Love Ya'll!