TTC cycle 11 [I think] Update.

We are quickly approaching 2 years TTC now. This is month 19, but only cycle 11 or maybe just 10. I'm not entirely sure any more. But, I'm still taking my MF and many other vitamins and supplements along with the herbal tea (which I don't drink religiously, because I forget to make it at night) and my herbal tincture, which despite it tasting like dirt and grass, I do actually remember to take.As far as diet, I'm not perfectly Paleo.... but I try my best. Sometimes I fail but I've been doing better about getting right back on the wagon.

This cycle, I am hopeful. I am currently 7(well by the time I post this it will probably be midnight) so actually, 8dpo. My chart is looking really good and I'm having some 'phantom symptoms'. Mild cramping, sore boobs, fatigue... all things that could be signs that I'm FINALLY knocked up, but also possibly just signs that AF is on her way.

I keep thinking about the two possible outcomes and I'm finding myself a little scared to be pregnant. Obviously that is the outcome that I want, but I can't help but be scared of some of the unknowns that come along with pregnancy and PCOS. I've spent so long focusing on GETTING pregnant with PCOS, I haven't given much thought to BEING pregnant with PCOS. This is totally a 'cart before horse' anxiety that i'm having right now, but for some reason I can't seem to get it off my mind. Woman with PCOS have a higher miscarriage rate, as well as higher rates of gestational diabetes and high blood pressure, which of course cause issues of their own. Now, I know that if we come to that bridge proper diet along with exercise can help you avoid/manage those issues. But I'm just being a worrier.

On the other hand, I cannot stop looking at all things baby related. Birth photography, baby clothes, slings, breastfeeding stuff, natural birth stuff, nursery themes, ALL OF IT!

I need to slow my roll, like fo' real yo.