Though I am currently pregnant, I still feel like it is important to raise awareness of infertility. There is still so much misinformation and ignorance surrounding infertility. So many people do not understand that it is a disease that does not just go away when you "relax", "stop trying", "go on vacation" or "just adopt". I want to share mine and Eric's story, not only to maybe give hope to those still struggling, but to show that infertility is real, devastating,and happens to people you know, including young newlywed couples.
I always had a fear that I would be unable to have children, I had irregular cycles, to the point I would go YEARS with out one.I never went to the Dr. because I was scared of what I would be told. Then when I was 19, I met Eric, and BOOM, my cycles were nearly clockwork(even before i was on birth control)..weird, I know. But as my irregular/ absent cycles became a thing of the past and Eric and I got more serious, he shared with me that there was a small chance he might not be able to have children. He was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma at 19 and was told he may be sterile after treatment.
Fast forward to 2010. I stopped taking birth control in August, we got married in October, but continued to use protection until December. At that point we decided to throw caution to the wind and see what happened. I was 22, Eric was just a few weeks shy of 23 & at that point I honestly thought I would be pregnant with in a few months. January rolled around and I was "late"...after a week or so & several negative pregnancy test, I finally got my period... and 19 days later, I was still on my period. I made an appointment to see my family doctor and after test and blood work, I was diagnosed with PCOS. PCOS , in short is a hormonal imbalance which, among other issues also can cause a woman not to ovulate or ovulate irregularly . It is the leading cause of infertility and affects 1 in 10 women and girls.
At this point I was put on medicine that the Dr. told me would help me lose weight and regulate my cycles. I was also told that PCOS would make it difficult for me to have children. After some discussion,Eric and I decided to start trying, though at the time we weren't sure of all that meant. I started the medicine, called metformin, and started trying to educate myself about PCOS and ways to maximize my fertility. With in the next few months I started trying to track my ovulation, only to to discover that I was not ovulating at all. But after months on the metformin, my cycles were not regulating, I was not ovulating, and I was not seeing any improvement in my other symptoms.
As we approached our 1 year mark of trying in 2012 we started looking into seeing a fertility specialist, only to discover that our overpriced insurance would not cover any treatment. I was devastated that our only option was to keep trying methods that were not producing any results. We did decide to get Eric checked out, since it was a very simple and inexpensive test. Luckily, everything came back normal, his cancer and treatments had no effect on his fertility. This was a huge weight off our shoulders, but I was still a long way from where I needed to be to conceive.Willing to try anything at this point, when my friend Jessica's mom, Lora,who had just became a certified herbalist, asked if I wanted to try using herbs to try to treat my symptoms, I was willing to give it a shot, though I will admit I was skeptical.
She started me on a herbal tea and tincture, and also recommended the Paleo Diet to me. With in a few months I noticed a difference in the way I felt and in my cycles. Then something magical happened, I ovulated and then ovulated again the next month! September rolled around and as usual, as I neared the time I was expecting my period... I started peeing on pregnancy test like crazy. I was shocked on Sept 21, 2012, I got not 1 but 6 positive pregnancy tests! I was in shock, I woke up Eric and told him and the next morning told a few close friends. However, that evening I started spotting and by Sunday I was bleeding heavily, I knew at that point that the pregnancy was over.We were both heartbroken, I was angry at my body, at the universe, and at God. I was angry that after almost 2 years, I was finally able to conceive, only to lose the pregnancy 24 hours later. After consulting with my Dr, we were cleared to start trying again right away. However we decided to take a little break, I needed some time to get my head on straight before we started on that roller coaster again. So we took the next 2 cycles "off", though I still worked on losing weight and improving my fertility. In that time I lost a few more lbs and started on some new herbs per recommendation of my herbalist.
We officially started trying again in late November, shortly after moving into our first home. In Jan I was getting to schedule my annual 'well woman exam' with my OB/gyn and was debating on whether or not I wanted to talk to him about taking Clomid, a fertility drug for a few cylces. I wasn't sure if we would be able to afford it, but i figured it was worth talking to him about. Well, I decided to put off my appointment for a month or so, so I could lose a bit more weight, in case the Clomid was an option.
However on January 31, nearly 2 years to the day from when we started trying. I noticed that my cycle was a few days late. So as always, I dug out my stash of pregnancy tests and took my very last one. I was shocked to see the word "Pregnant" appear. I proceeded to take many, many more test... all which were positive. With in the next week, I saw the doctor and had a few blood test that confirmed that this looked to be a viable pregnancy!
I must say I feel incredibly lucky, despite the ups and downs of our 2 year journey, I had a a wonderful support system. My husband, family, friends, and a large online support group of women going through the same issues.However, though I always had a fear that I would not be able to have children, nothing could have prepared me for the physical, emotional, and spiritual damage that infertility causes. You can't imagine how hard it is to see everyone around you getting pregnant, often on accident. You can't imagine how hard Christmas, Easter, Mother & Father's day, and just about any holiday is when you long for a child to spend those holidays with. You can't imagine the strain it puts on your self-esteem, self worth, and your marriage when you can't make your husband a father. You can't imagine living your life childless and never being to look into the face of a child and see a life that you and your husband created together. You can't imagine or fully understand these things unless you've been there. Those are things that I wish no one ,including myself, ever had to experience. Sadly, 1 in 8 couples deal with that reality. These are people that are your friends, family members, & coworkers and these couples need support, compassion, and as much understanding as you can possibly have. To better understand how you can support a couple dealing with infertility,
check this out!
